Chapter 4 – The Secret Revealed

My paws didn’t move out of spite, but from a stinging desperation rising from the base of my tail.

I was certain: I had seen the silhouette of a cat, male or female, I couldn’t tell, slipping through that window. Fear was a cold chill that couldn’t extinguish the heat burning inside me. I couldn’t let anyone discover my secret; if the truth came to light, everything I had built until now would crumble like a nest of sand.

Fuck… who could be prowling at this hour? Had I left a trail, some trace of that heavy, sweet scent my body gave off in heat?

A darker thought made the fur along my spine stand on end. What if Bluestar had sent someone to watch me? What if it was her herself lurking in the shadows? I shook my head, letting out a snort of denial. No, please, anything but that. But if she had known, why didn’t she confront me right then and there? That logic was the only thing that allowed me to catch my breath; I still had time to hunt down the culprit.

“Damn it, the herbs for Bluestar!” I meowed to myself.

If I returned empty-pawed, my absence would be a stain far too obvious on my record. But the spy had to be close… or had I already lost the trail? The problem was that my sense of smell was saturated. Between the scent of the damp forest and the dense, foreign, and exciting essence of that Two-leg that still permeated my nostrils, I was unable to distinguish a clear lead. That Two-leg… so forbidden, so terribly attractive.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I lowered my head, feeling the weight of guilt and desire, before raising it toward the moon with a long, soul-wrenching meow that was lost to the wind.

“Goddamn it!” I roared, though the sound was more of a lament than a battle cry.

There was no other choice. I spun around, forcing my muscles to react, and trotted back toward the Two-leg’s dwelling. I needed those herbs right now. With them in my mouth, I’d have an alibi, proof that my delay was nothing more than the excessive zeal of a dedicated medicine cat. I would bet everything on that single card.

***

The following morning, every fiber of my body protested. My hind legs felt heavy, but it was my rear that most remembered the heat of the previous night. I lay on my moss nest, my gaze lost on the stone ceiling of my cave.

The medicinal plants surrounded me, giving off their earthy aromas, but I remained motionless. My muzzle was damp from the dew leaking through the cracks in the ceiling, cooling my hot nose. What happened last night remained a blind knot in my throat.

I managed to bring the herbs, yes. I took advantage of the return trip to roll in fresh moss and dry dirt, trying to mask what I carried on me before entering the camp. Everything was silent; the Clan seemed plunged into its usual routine, oblivious to my torment. I delivered the cargo to Bluestar; she looked at me strangely, surely noticing my ruffled fur and agitation, but as long as she had her medicines, she chose not to pry.

I spent the rest of the dawn walking in circles in my den, rubbing my belly and flanks against the nest, seeking a relief that only exhaustion finally provided. But no one came to claim. No one came to accuse me.

“What was that spy after?” I asked myself over and over. If they hadn’t spoken before, why would they now? Perhaps StarClan hadn’t turned its back on me yet. However, I couldn’t let it go. Someone had seen me. Someone had witnessed how that Two-leg took me with a force no cat could match, filling me with his seed.

I covered my face with my paws, sinking into the darkness. The Warrior Code spoke of loyalty, but… did it say anything about Two-legs? My mind searched for legal loopholes while my body still vibrated from the memory of the thrusts. It was self-deception, I knew it.

I stood up reluctantly and stretched my front legs, arching my back in a prolonged stretch. A gasp of discomfort escaped my lips as I felt the burning in my hindquarters. The Two-leg had used me thoroughly, and I felt my insides heavy, reclaiming their space. Even swallowing spit was difficult, as if his scent were branded into my very skin.

“My scent is camouflaged, that’s what matters,” I reminded myself, though my heart beat hard against my ribs.

I had duties to attend to. I would take advantage of every consultation, every wound to heal, to scrutinize the eyes of my Clanmates. In the Clan, everyone ends up confessing their secrets to the medicine cat; I am their therapist, their confidante. That cat won’t be able to hide from me for long.

The morning progressed with agonizing normalcy. The queens and apprentices began their day. I looked at Tigerclaw with suspicion; he looked far too energetic, but I soon dismissed it. He was too busy scolding the young ones to have wasted time spying on me at a window.

The first to enter was young Graypaw, who had a splinter embedded in his paw. I extracted it delicately and gave him a gentle lick on the cheek to soothe him. He purred, grateful. Before he could leave, I dropped the question like a sudden claw-swipe at the air.

“By the way, Graypaw… do you usually go for walks so late in the forest?”

The apprentice stopped and pricked his ears, confused. He shook his head from side to side and left without another word. There was no reaction, no glimmer of guilt in his eyes.

I tended to one after another, weaving subtle questions between each remedy. But nothing. Not a single bit of gossip, not one shifty look. The culprit was still out there, hidden behind a mask of normalcy, while I felt my own body betraying me with every step.

There was something I was missing; I was sure of it. A tiny detail, a piece of the puzzle that didn’t fit.

I stopped to reflect after treating the eighth cat of the day for a splinter.

Why did they all have the same problem?

I observed carefully where they were coming from. Many had ruffled fur, matted with debris from the undergrowth. From what I remembered hearing, Bluestar, impatient due to my delay the night before, had ordered several patrols to search for the medicinal herb on their own. The order was still in effect, and the warriors continued to track through the densest thickets.

I flashed a tense smile as I realized a technical detail: in bristled, dirty fur, scents are trapped much more strongly.

There was one smell in particular I needed to identify. I pricked my ears, alert, and searched my stores for a sample of the herb I had delivered to the leader. I sniffed it intensely, branding the essence into my sensory memory.

“Good,” I whispered, “now I have you.”

I walked toward the entrance of my den, my senses sharpened by the residual heat that made every movement of my hips fluid and feline. I scanned every warrior and apprentice. If the spy was at that window, they had to have brushed against the herbs I was carrying, or at least crossed my trail while it was still fresh in the vegetation.

That scent wouldn’t wash away so easily.

“A-choo!”

A sneeze broke the murmur of the camp. I whipped my head to the left with a predator’s speed. From among some bushes emerged an orange-furred apprentice, bright as an ember: Firepaw.

I blinked, dissecting his figure with my gaze. I caught the scent in his direction, but the distance was too great; the aroma of my own herbs confused me. However, his behavior gave him away: he was watching me out of the corner of his eye, and as soon as our gazes met, he looked away with an unnatural stiffness.

Bingo.

“Steady, Spottedleaf, keep your cool,” I repeated to myself. I had to prevent him from doing something reckless. The secret had to stay buried. I thought about bribing him, perhaps promising to intercede with Tigerclaw to soften his training, though I doubted that warrior would listen to me.

I approached Firepaw. He tried to find an escape route, pretending someone was calling him, but I cut him off with a graceful movement, planting a paw in front of him.

“Firepaw,” I greeted him with a smile loaded with a dangerous sweetness.

He returned the greeting, visibly nervous. I narrowed my eyes, keeping my body close to his, letting my body heat and my scent of a cat in heat overwhelm him.

“Do you have a thorn you need me to remove too?” I purred.

“M-me? I don’t think so… uh…”

“Come on, let me check.”

Facing his resistance, I opted for a direct attack. I leaned over him, burying my nose into the fur of his neck to sniff deeply. I felt him tremble under my touch. There it was: the subtle but unmistakable trail of Bluestar’s herb… and something else.

I pulled back barely an inch, looking at him with dilated pupils. Sweat began to bead on my skin beneath my fur. I had found the culprit of my distress.

“Firepaw. We need to talk. Now.”

He opened his mouth, searching for an excuse, but ended up shaking his head, completely flushed. He looked around; luckily, Tigerclaw was still busy reprimanding Graypaw and Ravenpaw. I sighed, and before he could try to flee, I grabbed him firmly by the scruff. Although he was heavy, the adrenaline and the need for control gave me the strength to drag him.

“Move!”

“Wait, please! I didn’t see anything!” he shrieked in a desperate whisper.

“Shut up! Not a word out here.”

Once inside the gloom of my burrow, I shoved him toward the back, where the scent of dried herbs was thickest. I let out a small, instinctive growl and faced him. Firepaw was shaking like a leaf, while I watched him with eyes heavy with exhaustion and tension. I licked my lips, tasting the air.

“Did you go to the Two-leg fence last night?”

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Answer me!” I demanded, stepping into his personal space.

“Smudge… he was just… scaring off an old friend… that’s all, I promise!”

I huffed, irritated. I wasn’t going to let him distract me with unimportant names. I sat in front of him, imposing my presence, and though I felt the heat rising to my cheeks, I lowered my voice to a husky whisper.

“Did you see me, then…? Did you see me with the Two-leg?”

Firepaw’s eyes snapped wide. The memory seemed to hit him with full force, staining his ears a deep, intense red. Instinctively, he yanked his hind legs inward, shielding his crotch in a gesture of pure, youthful embarrassment. He didn’t answer, but his silence was the ultimate confirmation.

I growled low in my throat, then let out a long sigh. I looked at the apprentice, who didn’t dare hold my gaze. I had to secure his silence, no matter the cost. Bluestar favored him and so did I; I knew he would be a great warrior. Truth be told, if it weren’t for my obsession with that Two-leg, I might have waited for him to grow up to try something with him. But now, my priorities had shifted.

“Spottedleaf…” he murmured, his voice cracking.

Firepaw uttered my name in a thin thread of a voice, forcing me to center my full attention on him. The apprentice was on fire, his ears flattened and a blush blooming beneath his orange fur. Slowly, with a clumsy movement heavy with shame, he spread his legs away from his groin, ceasing to hide the inevitable.

“I-I’m sorry… I’ve been like this since last night. Since I saw you with that Two-leg…” he confessed, his breathing ragged.

My eyes traveled down and fixed upon his anatomy. There, between his hind legs, stood a firm member, surprisingly more developed than that of many veteran warriors in the Clan. I remained in absolute silence. I blinked several times, shaking my head from side to side to clear the fog from my mind, but the evidence of his desire remained there, throbbing.

I swallowed hard, feeling my own insides slicking with moisture in response to the sight.

“I don’t know if what you were doing yesterday is right or wrong,” he continued, trying to regain some composure. “But I believe in you. I’d like to be on your side if something happens… I’d like to talk to you. Perhaps Bluestar should…”

“Bluestar must not know anything!” I interrupted him with a hissing, urgent whisper. “Listen, Firepaw… this is something deeply intimate. You shouldn’t have seen that. You must promise me you will keep this secret forever, until the day you leave to join StarClan.”

At the mention of his ancestors, I noticed a renewed spark in his eyes. His loyalty to the Clan made him shine, though I wasn’t sure how much affinity I had left with the stars after what I had done. However, his erection did not falter; on the contrary, it seemed to demand my attention with every passing second of silence.

The apprentice was still trembling, a prisoner of an excitement he didn’t know how to manage. I couldn’t let him leave in that state. If he walked out of my den like that, he would catch the eye of any cat, and sooner or later, the pressure would force him to run his mouth, revealing everything.

I had to calm him down, and my body was screaming exactly how to do it.

I approached him with slow, sinuous steps, allowing my flanks to brush against his. I sighed, letting the hot air of my breath caress his ear, and entwined my tail with his in an embrace of silk and fur. It was a possessive, purely feline gesture that left him paralyzed.

I brought my muzzle close to his, inhaling deeply his scent of youth and forest. The heat made me let out a low meow, almost a vibrant purr that reverberated in both our chests.

“If I offer you the same thing I gave the Two-leg… do you promise me you’ll keep the secret forever, Firepaw?” I proposed, looking at him with dilated pupils that barely left the color of my eyes visible.

He swallowed with difficulty. His cock, now fully exposed and freed from the refuge of his legs, was the only answer I needed: he was dying to be claimed by his medicine cat.

I slid downward, lowering my muzzle to his crotch. The heat radiating from it was intoxicating. Without breaking eye contact for a single moment, I ran the tip of my tongue in a soft, wet, and slow lick over his member, leaving him trembling for a second.

It seemed I would have to give the Clan’s great prodigy a personal anatomy lesson. And as his scent flooded my senses, I could only think of one thing.

Fuck, this apprentice… his clumsy stare really turns me on.